Evil Jim

04:50 pm: My obligatory winter storm post
I'm getting a fucking snowblower. That's it! This shit has gone on too long. Yeah, it was fun when the average drift was above my head, I didn't have to shovel it & the only real work was walking to the school to ride the great sledding hill all afternoon. This winter tho' is just awful. I'd be surprised if this winter isn't the most intense for snowfall in my entire 30.9 years. I'll ask my parents about it later but I'm pretty sure this may be the cake-taker. I've even heard that the all the schools are closed (duh) including the colleges & that the public works even shut down the highways & beltline because the plows can't keep up with it (tho' this part I heard from a neighbor & haven't yet been able to confirm.) Note: This is likely just the plows in my hometown that are giving up for a while.

The above & more is what I was composing for the first 20-30 minutes of my attempt at clearing the snow in what was once my driveway. I saw my friendly neighbour Jim snow blowing the end of his driveway & then friendly neighbour Karen's next door where the plow had piled on extra. I was silently asking him to come over & offer to help me out but I don't generally do that sort of thing unless I'm desperate. Not much later he finished & went in & then poked his head out with the phone to his ear as his wife arrived in the car. They must have had something coordinated.

I had finally begun to make significant progress when the snowplow came by, heaping yet more snow to the end of the driveway. I was glad I didn't ask Jim for help since his work would have shortly thereafter been for naught. The snowplow was followed shortly by a fellow driving a Bobcat, scraping away more putrescence & piling it on the side of the road here & there. He came back shortly & opened his window to shout at me. "You gonna do all that by yourself?" I held my well worn scoop shovel in the air & called back "This is all I got!" He offered to clear the rest of my driveway for me. Not without cost, but considering the conditions I found it well reasonable. $20 & ten minutes of leaning on my shovel later I was now an hour to 90 minutes ahead in my work. All that remained was a bit of cleanup around the edges (now being a good three feet past the edge of my driveway where he plowed for good measure -- three car driveway now!) & to move my car to the side in hopes of halting more of the severe drifts that nearly hid it completely from view when I first went out.

Despite the help it is still one of those days where you can't even open the door without a gust of snow in the face, the likes of which will soak your clothes as soon as it melts. There was snow stuck to every side of my car, despite the fact that the wind was very clearly & enthusiastically blowing from one direction. When you come in from shoveling snow (shut up apartment bitches) you pretty much head straight to the bathtub & strip because your clothes are the same way.

But now I'm finally getting comfortable. I was afraid I had frostbite there for a while. Not on my nose or ears because those were warm & sweaty. I lost feeling in my thighs where they weren't protected by the tail of my coat or neck of my boot. They were bright pink so I immediately went to the warmest room of the house, turned on the furnace for good measure & began composing this post. I survived. Unscathed, but considerably more grumpy. I hope all who read this are safe & warm as I am now.

E V I L O U T -

Edit:
According to the blogs at channel 3 free parking is in effect in city ramps from 9PM - 7AM Thursday just to get more cars off the street. Otherwise, park on the ODD side of the street.

12.3 inches of snow in Madison as of 4:45PM

I totally want to cook for company but now is the dumbest time to invite guests over.