January 17th, 2004


Adventures in underwear

There's something refreshing about ripping your clothes off. I don't mean removing them in a hurry or a flurry of excitement. I mean literally tearing them from your body like a madman (or madwoman!) It's something everyone should try once in a while.

Sometime yesterday during the middle of my shift I had to adjust my clothing and accidently brushed something that would really be more appropriate in private (or with someone special.) Briefly puzzled, I looked down to realize that a hole had formed in my jeans in a very personal area. Not only that, there was a hole in my boxers in exactly the same place. This isn't the sort of air-conditioning I appreciate in January, let alone in public.

I snuck into a less traveled area of the workplace and attempted to make a quick adjustment of my jeans to remain presentable for the time being. Luck proved out of reach for sitting down still proved to be potentially hazardous for passerby. I decided to take drastic action and actually reverse my shorts, thereby significantly reducing the risk of indecent exposure. I made my way to the restrooms at the far side of the building that find less traffic since they are somewhat out of the way. Upon entering I soon found that I was not alone as signs of slight movement was arising from one of the stalls. As I did not wish company (concealed as it was) for my task, I resigned myself to using the more-trafficked facilities in front. However, this proved equally hazardous as the cleaning crew had just be through and the foul stench of vinegar filled the room. I swear, they use vinegar to clean everything and it really gets nauseating for the first hour or so after they've been through. But since the scent of newly clean was better than the scent of otherwise, I muddied the still slick floors with my boots and made my way to the handicapped stall to adjust my clothing.

One nice thing about boxers is that you can wear them backwards with little or no discomfort. It didn't look too bad when I carefully checked myself in the mirror, and if anyone tried to stare I could quickly avert their gaze before they were in danger. The hole was still visible, but untucking my shirt diminished the effect drastically as long as I was standing. But since most of my job that day would be spent sitting, I took another step of protection and hung my handkerchief from my waistband on the inside of my jeans. This seemed to work and at least kept me from being overselfconscious for the rest of the evening.

I survived the remainder of the night with no major mishaps and returned home relieved to have the affair over. Once I settled in I began to disrobe and put all of the week's work clothes into the hamper as I usually do on Friday nights, except for my pants, which I tore to shreds from my body. Somehow, that made it all worth while.

- E V I L O U T -

Current mood: Hamster in underpants
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