11:00 am: "I'm cranky and antisocial and I just want to sleep."
I am so goddamned sick of this miserable weather that it's not even funny. Every time I look at a 7-day forecast it says the same thing: highs in the 80's, lows in the 60's. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SUMMER??! It's the same goddamned weather EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! There's hardly any rain, the daily high gets down to the 70's maybe three days a month and it's always so damned humid! Crap, the humidity! Even on the rare days when it does rain it only adds to the humidity and doesn't cool things off the way they're supposed to. I have been lethargic and unambitious all summer because of this. Who wants to go outside when it feels like you're being enveloped in wet cotton? Why leave the house when not even a shade tree provides respite? It's miserable and awful and I just want to go back to last summer.
In other news: I'm sick of my job. I've felt that way for a long time but yesterday was particularly unpleasant. Besides having to work in a building where you can only tell it's air-conditioned by walking outside, I spent most of it irritable and short-tempered. For the latter half of the shift I found it difficult to think of anything but those things that make me angry or depressed.
The only relief came 25 minutes before the end of the shift when the fire alarm went off for no apparent reason. Everyone filed outside and waited as the police and a fire truck arrived to check things out and speak with management. It was a false alarm, but no one was sure how it started. Hopefully we'll find out today.
The amusement was short-lived because at home when I tried to change my house water filter I made a mess. It's always been so easy before but this time the filter housing wouldn't seal properly and water kept spraying out whenever I turned it back on. After several thoroughly frustrating attempts I finally discovered that the rubber seal ring had fallen out. It was fine once I replaced it but I had already completely soaked two towels and hosed the interior of my closet.
A lot of little things have been bothering me this week. I'm cranky and antisocial and I just want to sleep. I get headaches at the slightest provocation and I can't find my big bottle of ibuprofen. Working off a caffeine addiction sucks.
J I M O U T -
Current Mood: stressed out
Join the club...
Oh wait, that would mean we'd have to be social, wouldn't it?
Guess none of us have it together...as I've said to both Lindsay and Keith: Everyone's fucked up in their own way...some are just better at hiding it.
I'm not feeling particularly social either. But, I've found that it's better than being home alone...I got so used to people being around again that I think I've forgotten what it's like to not be around anyone. I suppose that's part of the reason why I've been antisocial lately. Of course, my really really long post explains some more of it (but if you don't want to read that, I don't blame you...it's really long).
If it helps, I have a bottle of ibuprofen that I don't use much (I prefer the legal narcotics that I have from the doctor). I used to use it a lot. I used to get severe migraines when I was working off my caffeine addiction...and now I can't use it very often (makes me sick). And they say caffeine doesn't cause addictions.........
Wow, sounds like you're having a rough summer, or at least a rough week. Weather like this always puts me into a lousy mood, and I'm sure your caffeine withdrawal isn't helping, either. I didn't realize you were trying to kick the habit. I tried a couple of months back. It made me depressed and surly and eventually I gave up, but even my failure contained a victory of sorts. I used to drink a lot of coffee during the day and I can't maintain a good mood with none, but I've gotten myself to the point where one cup of coffee or one Coke is enough to carry me through the day.
Anyway, I've been contending with my own monsters, mostly stemming from my recent move. Probably not stuff I'll write about in my journal because it would make for less-than-interesting reading, but suffice to say that I've been constantly tired and cranky because we're not allowed to use air conditioners in the new place for at least a couple of weeks, and because (thanks to my busy schedule) I've only been able to work on organizing the new place late at night. Between the nature of the work and the lack of cool air, I've been doing a lot of heavy work, going to bed really late, and getting up without having slept enough. Eventually this will change, but in the meantime nobody's going to want to talk to me.
