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Evil Jim

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03:50 am: Kom Susser Company
I learned tonite that despite my incredibly handsome, charming and singleness, Lindsay's friend isn't interested in seeing me again so I can stop thinking along those lines. Hope really kills me at times and I suppose can even be considered a weakness. I refuse to accept a situation as concrete and compose a complex yet plausible chain of events leading to some goal which, more often than not, fails without starting. It might work better if I employed more action than hope but it also helps if I know something of what I'm supposed to be doing. I hope for the best when something is wrong with my friends, I hope some girl will find and like me, I hope my grandmother lasts another year; when I can't control a situation, I hope. I realized I use the word a lot but I don't use it lightly. I do truly hope the situation improves, or for a specific end result regarding whatever the case may be. I wish people well, I wish them luck and hope things are all right. (I'm speaking generally now, by the way.) It's futile at times and there are those where I knew or suspected from the beginning that things wouldn't work but to give up hope before all is lost is not my way, and thus I agonize until the end.

Despite all that I had a delightful evening with Caleb, crabmoon and the_tick27. They came over for the usual Red Dwarf thang. We almost watched Evangelion: Death and REdeath but Caleb was obstinate and didn't want to see it. I thought Lindsay and I could enjoy it together while he played Metroid but she just wanted to watch Caleb watch it so Red Dwarf it was! I didn't realize we'd seen the last episode of Series VII but I stopped then anyway so I could cook a pizza. Invader Zim was watched. Much fun was had. Not only that, Lindsay was kind enough to give me a back rub after almost aggravating it further (first injured Monday with merry-go-round pushing and carrying people without stretching first) with a dead-weight-drop hug. That felt so good. Not just because it was the simple kindness of a rubbed back, but because I had such an aggravating final two hours at work.

I'm seriously glad they all stopped by. I was pretty P-O'd after what happened at work. I don't want to go into detail but you can read about it here in statements. I still have to deal with it tomorrow when I return to work but considering my pristine clean work record I don't think I have to worry too much.

As long as we're going backward through the day, this early afternoon's mail finally provided my very own bootleg copy of the Evangelion S2 Works soundtrack. All, and I do mean all, the music from Evangelion. Every variant of every song on six (+ 1 bonus) discs. I found it last week available through a store on eBay for cheaper than the website linked above. Since neither version is legit I opted for the $36 one. My search of the dealers at Acen made it abundantly clear that this is a difficult import item to find so I feel no guilt, and I will continue looking for a real copy to use as a backup.

Ugh. Since I picked up the mail on the way out of the house I had the S2 set with me on my way home. I really needed something to help me cool off. There was one song in particular I wanted to hear for the trip but I regrettably couldn't find it in time, even after stopping in a parking lot to search of the liner notes their few titles in English. I settled for the wonderful versions of Pachelbel's Kanon on the bonus disc.

The song I wanted to hear was Kom Susser Tod ("Come, Sweet Death.") But once company had arrived and I saw that they were settled in I checked the incredible edible Internet for the track list and subjected everyone to both versions. Eerie; haunting; upbeat. Adjectives not often used together and likely punctuated improperly. Since none of this is legal you can check it out here for a paltry 7MB, but for a limited time only. I have something like 430KB of webspace left and I'm rather keen on having the rest back soon.

No further progress on my website since the last mention but I did get some logos worked out on paper yesterday during the slow periods (like 5 hours) at work. It's a little late (after 3:30AM) to continue now but at least I have the drive now. Since I don't have an instructor to watch over my shoulder all the time I'll keep at it with web resources and good ol' trial & error™. Oh, and once I start making progress I may let you vote to help decide on what domain name I'll use since I've come up with three now. More news to come as it unfolds.

I've just spent the last five minutes posting to comments in statements. I'd better call it a night.

J I M O U T -

Current Mood: surprised (good)

Current Music: Infantile Dependence, Adult Dependency ~ Shiro Sagisu

Comments

From:renny1780
Date:June 2nd, 2005 07:45 am (UTC)
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Jim, I honestly don't understand why you don't have a woman of your own. But, aside from that...eh, I had something to say but I lost it as I was typing (it happens). Meh...
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From:crabmoon
Date:June 2nd, 2005 12:19 pm (UTC)

ug

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Jim, I'm really sorry about Bethy, it took her a while to finally let me down about the whole thing, I think she felt bad about not being interested. But if it makes you feel any better we wasn't really interested in anyone that she mett, not Colin or Caleb.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:June 2nd, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
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What gets me is that it's like saying "I don't need a new friend." As if dating is the only option. Thank you for your help all the way through, though. It feels good to know you're looking out for me. *hugs*
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:June 2nd, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC)
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I refuse to accept a situation as concrete and compose a complex yet plausible chain of events leading to some goal which, more often than not, fails without starting.

Funny how everybody has this problem, but nobody recognizes it until they're already failing.
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