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Evil Jim

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01:00 am: All hail the God of Post-Its!
I am now the proud owner of several thousand pads of Post-It!™ notes. Let me run that by you again... I am now ... the proud owner.... of .... several .... thousand.... pads of Post-It!™ notes. Everybody got that? I now have enough to last me the rest of my natural life. Therefore: All hail the God of Post-Its!™!! You want a piece of me? You think you can take me on? You wanna try to put me down? Huh??! Well too bad 'cause I got all the goddamn Post-It!™ notes, buddy! They're mine you hear me? Mine!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

I got so many you will look at them and say, "you got a lot of Post-It!™ notes. You know why? Because I got a lot of Post-It!™ notes.

Remember this guy?this guy He ain't got nuthin' on me. 'Cause I am the God of Post-It!™ notes!

So what does one do with scores of thousands of Post-It!™ notes?
Well, I won't need to buy curtains for that window anymore.

I could finally take care of the neighbor's yard light that is never turned off.

Lucky origami challenge!

Keep wallet from feeling too thin until payday.

Throw them at ugly children and foreigners.

Post-It!™ soup! (for company only. you think I'm gonna try it?)

Summon the Elder Ones (you don't wanna know. oh, you KNOW you don't wanna know)


Any more ideas? You got some? Huh??!! Well lemme know and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you have a pad.

- E V I L O U T -

Current Mood: I'm better than you, and I have more money Post-Its!™

Current Music: Burning ~ Blue Oyster Cult

Comments

From:ex_miang438
Date:March 25th, 2004 07:48 am (UTC)
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Several thousand...pads? Wow. How does one come to acquire so many? And perhaps equally important, why?

Can I have one?

Additional usage ideas:
- Leave yourself a trail when you go into forests / mazes / assorted natural puzzles
- Decorative picture frames
- Make a lot of IOUs and see what you can get
- Pretty pretty Post-It dress!
- Instant carpeting.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:March 25th, 2004 11:21 am (UTC)
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Thank you for your submissions, your entries will be considered. Some good ideas there except that many IOUs would get me into deep and serious trouble. Are you trying to get me out of the picture in order to claim my Post-It!™ source??! I think not.

I found instructions on making a Post-It!™ this guy but there were none for a pretty pretty Post-It!™ dress. I suspect staples, glue and a sex-change would be necessary for that. You wanna try it?

Anyway, congratulation! You won a pad.
From:ex_miang438
Date:March 25th, 2004 12:26 pm (UTC)
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You won a pad.

Rock.

...heeey, there's an idea: Combine a few pads and use them as paperweights to hold down your other notes when the stickiness wears off.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:March 25th, 2004 11:15 pm (UTC)
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Paper.

Yes! They would actually work as paper paperweights; either as bulk weight or using them as tape to hold other sheets down.

If you haven't noticed already, check out sacredspud's latest journal entry and the song he wrote filled with suggestions.
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From:sacredspud
Date:March 25th, 2004 09:31 am (UTC)
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Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh Steven? That sounds like a pretty good -- Wait, what was your question again? Oh! OH! What to do with several thousand pads of Post-Its!™, eh Evil_Jim?

Wellllllll....

You could wrap a gift for Tick
You could mummify your You could decorate the stick
Or you could build a shrine
to the little blue swine
from the Career Fair
which you said was a waste of time.
You could make a thousand hundred-page flip books
for an hour-long cartoon...

You could sell those babies on eBay
and make a dollar sixty one,
Or declare the biggest spitball war
in the history of Southern Wisconsin.

You could boil or whip or beat 'em
but I suggest that you don't try to eat 'em
Or you could stick 'em to the doors of your house
and throw away that ineffective sand-filled mouse.

Or if you're feeling weird
I guess that you could write notes on 'em
to help you remember things
you'd otherwise forget like "where's your other sock?"
or "you left the mayonaise in the dryer (again)."
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:March 25th, 2004 08:11 pm (UTC)
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Or, if it's too much work to read all those lyrics, you might try downloading the song here.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:March 25th, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC)

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Woah! Super extra happy bonus points for the song! And even more for the recording, wow, thank you! But that won't get you any more Post-Its™ you suck up.
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From:sacredspud
Date:March 26th, 2004 05:53 am (UTC)
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I'm glad you like the song, but I won't lose sleep over not getting any Post-Its!™ I won't get several thousand pads, but I'm sure I could get away with stealing them from work.
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From:selftiednuse
Date:April 18th, 2004 06:51 pm (UTC)
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you've taken the all to sacred and conventional post-it and turned it into something of an evolutionary step in paper products. I salute you! for i was once a post-it god but failed miserably as I was not up to the challenge of harnessing there color coded glory. Also are you going to ACEN? And also..I am best friend of hal
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