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Evil Jim

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12:00 pm: January 26: Describe the contents of someone's closet
Closets can be a wonderful thing. A convent place to hide the clutter of everyday life, to put away indefinitely the work of organization, selection & disposal of unnecessary items, a temporary black hole wherewith one's responsibility, as well as needed tasks can disappear together. And if there's room, a secret clubhouse. Mine are usually all of the above.

My house has three closets. Three. I have a lot of stuff I don't use on a daily basis. Lots. Therefore my spare bedroom (which does have a closet of its own) is being used in its entirety as a large semi-walk-in closet. After much planning & deliberation I have come to the conclusion that until I finally buckle down & just gut out the entire room keeping only the most valued contents, or move to a different house, it will remain as it has since the day I moved in. FULL. Sadly, it's probably going to be the latter.

So what do I keep in these closets? How much stuff do I have that it must fill an entire room? Well, let's take a brief jaunt through the house.

My bedroom closet is the largest of the three (not counting the entire back-room) & due to its nature & location is the most oft accessed of them all. It is the width of the room & accessible by two doors -- ideal if I ever have a spouse. One corner is occupied by the water heater & water softener apparatus which means that area must have easy-access outside & just inside the door. There is no such blockage on the other side so the floor in the opposite corner is taken up by luggage & some pillows I intend to give to St. Vincent DuPaul the day have the convenience & I actually remember.

There is a wire shelf with a rudimentary pole for clothes hangers directly beneath. I say rudimentary because the shelf is supported against the wall it's mounted on by metal attached to said wall with braces so the farthest you can slide any hanger is about a foot. Some clothes I haven't seen in years. Upon these hangers hang my collection of Hawiian shirts, warmer winter shirts too bulky for drawers, jackets for all seasons, a belt hanger, a plastic bag full of ties (since they often fall off of the official tie hanger) & some clothes that need to be sorted & disposed of because they no longer fit comfortably in one way or another. Boxes of random items of varying importance rest on the floor & on the rack, mixed with miscellaneous linens & clothes. By & far, not a very interesting place in the house. Still, my greatest fear is that the water softener will malfunction, leak or otherwise soak or destroy everything in this closet regardless of its unimportance.

The computer room closet was filled early on in my residence here. The computer was constructed & installed before most of my furniture & belongings. Due to my habit of hanging onto stuff that will be useful someday, the closet was quickly filled with all the original component boxes for the computer's parts, including the monitor & huge PC tower. Thankfully, I eventually remembered to clean out this closet some years later. Most of the boxes were broken down & left on the curb to be recycled because everything they once contained was now past its warranty date. Now you will only find the few that will come in handy for moving when I finally leave this residence, along with colourful boxes for PC games, old computer parts & some miscellaneous products accumulated from my years of working in an office supply warehouse.

The third closet (still not counting the full room) is the only one that has much resemblance to the one at my childhood home. It contains many of the toys & games I still can't bear to part with. Packed almost floor to ceiling with boxes & cartons, this one makes most efficient use of space of the three. It helps that a couple of the boxes are large & heavy to begin with, creating a good foundation for others on top since I rarely need to get into them. For how often do I need access to my VHS tapes or collection (aka: investment) of 10 year old 12" Star Wars dolls. It is my hope that someday most of the room will be cleared of unnecessary items & keepsakes & the rest will be distributed among the other closets in the house, thereby letting me use it as an actual guest bedroom. Unfortunately, to do this I will have to become much more brutal with my past, & at the moment I'm just to lazy.

- E V I L O U T -

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